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Showing posts from September, 2018

The 12 Stages of (my) Anxiety.

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This post has taken me a long time to write. It’s been floating around in my head for months, along with 8,462 other things, and it has taken a week and a half to get this down on paper. And edit. Delete. Edit. Start again… Approximately 496 times.

I never realised that I had anxiety because I was surrounded by delightful people who told me that I was a psychopath, hateable, unlikable. I’m not anymore (surrounded by those delightful people that is, I am still a little bit of a psychopath at certain times of the month. Ahem.), though this doesn’t mean that from time to time, something doesn’t rear its ugly head and trigger all of those left over issues.

Anxiety affects different people in many, many different ways. After an incident recently where in my peak anxiety, somebody tried to touch me and I shouted at them, I decided to try and verbalise how my anxiety affects me. And to ensure that people recognise that by the time I scream, “don’t fucking touch me”, you’ve missed ALL of t…

Ten things not to say to women who have stopped drinking.

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In light of reaching an extraordinary four months alcohol free, here is a list of ACTUAL things people have said to me about my journey. Please, I am begging you; do not say these things to people (especially women) who have made the incredible decision to stop drinking alcohol. This experience has been difficult enough at times without you adding to it with your insensitivity around a topic you clearly don’t understand.

It astonishes me that alcohol is so ingrained in our society that people assume there is a medical reason for not drinking. And yes, I know I’m verging on sanctimonious twat but some of these comments are so horrifically hurtful and the damage from them lasts long after an interaction. Think before you judge, you have no idea what battles someone is fighting and how close they are to falling over the edge. Be nice. You don’t have to understand, just don’t be a dick.

1. “Are you pregnant?”

This of course doesn’t just apply to women who have stopped drinking, this appl…

A New Academic Year (and 113 days).

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In education, the first week of September is the pinnacle of the educational year. I jest of course, none of us have any idea what we’re doing. A majority of staff have had most of the Summer off. They’ve all forgotten about that colleague who eats with their mouth open. Or they’ve just forgotten how to do their job. Or even what they do. Or where they are.

Let me explain how much this week has taken out of me by telling you about my Friday.

· Repeatedly woken up in the night by Hubs because I keep punching him in the face.

· 5.30am alarm to drive the Nobber to work.

· Forget to feed dog before walk.

· Throw the Wubba (aka favourite toy) behind me over my head and lose it in a hedge.

· Spend thirty minutes in said hedge trying to find the bastard thing while Smiley whines at me and paces up and down looking for it.


· Lose the treat bag further down the walk.

· Turn around to try and find the treat bag. Lose the dog.

· …