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Showing posts from May, 2018

10 days sober.

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I have been sober for 10 days. Quite the achievement for somebody whose response to any situation is to celebrate (or commiserate) with a beer. Or wine. Or prosecco. Or gin. Good day at work? Have a drink. Bad day at work? Have a drink! Cat fallen out of the bedroom window again? Drink. You’ve washed and dried four loads of washing? Drink. You finished watching every episode of 13 Reasons Why Season 2 and only cried 8,362 times? Drink.
I honestly don’t know where the huge shift in my brain has come from and yet alcohol is no longer the centre point of every activity; I’ve even managed to attend a beer festival and a cider festival over the bank holiday weekend and enjoy the ambience (or lack there of in one case) with a coke or a coffee. However, while I’ve been focused on not drinking (and prior to this point, focusing on drinking), I have let my physical health slip and that needs to change as I can’t focus on being the best version of myself if I’m not nourishing my body, and my …

Pedal to the Metal

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Wow, last night was a night full of alcohol free firsts! In fact, there were even some general firsts in there too! Waking up this morning, without a hangover and still buzzing from the sheer brilliance of the night before is verging on addictive.
Last night was the first time I have ever been to a metal gig. Yep. A genre of music that I enjoy, that for some reason or another, I had never found myself stumbling upon was made possible by the epic guys from Black Hawk Down who had reached the semi-finals of the Metal 2 The Masses competition and an opportunity to win a slot at Bloodstock festival (9th – 12th August, Catton Park, Derbyshire, check out the website here).

To support my non-drinking, I offered to be one of the many drivers who took a huge group of amazing people on a roadtrip from Stamford to Nottingham. Not that my non-drinking needed any support this weekend as the switch in my brain appears to have been fully clicked into place whereby alcohol doesn’t even factor in m…

Jumping off the Booze Bus.

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I'll stick to making it for other people to drink :)
I haven’t really written anything for the last six months bar the occasional drunken rambling trying to put some order into everything that has happened in such a short time. I, of course, haven’t been able to. Everything is still chaotic, discombobulated and too painful and so, in true K style, I’m going to skirt around everything that happened and pretend it hasn’t.
So what’s this about then? Well, it’s about the sudden realisation that I have buried my emotions underneath a carefully crafted facade of caring for other people for six months. I have pushed aside my pain to support others in theirs. I’ve ignored it, limboed under it, run from it. And recently, those people I have thrown my soul into supporting… Welllll, they are recovering and don’t need my masking ministrations anymore. I have nothing more to hide in, I have to confront my emotions. Eurgh.
With this in mind, four day…